It's been a while

So I know it's been a while and I should update. I went in for a pap smear and it came back fine.
Still not pregnant of course. It's 6 DPO and I've been really emotional. I HATE mother's day. I know one day I will regret it. I won't have my mom or my mother-in-law anymore and I'll look back and wish I had laughed more on mother's day...but for now I hate it with a bloody passion. I hate it because I am left out, and I feel I shouldn't be. After 5 years I should be one of those who can proudly say "I am a mom".
 It's a cold reminder of what is probably never to be.
As much as I hope and wish and pray that this month will be the month so I don't have to think about it on the 13th, I know in my heart that I'll be curled up in a ball with period cramps and some chocolate.
To top it all off, I just found out that this person I do not care for because she's a big fat fake, after JUST giving birth 4 months ago to her I've-Done-Lost-Count child, is Pregnant AGAIN!