Another year, the same feeling.

Sorry I don't blog much anymore, I guess there just isn't much to blog about, except about my pain and sadness, my fear that it won't happen. I O'd on cycle day 20 this cycle....late. I guess because I started exercising again. I am currently 1 DPO.

I Feel alone. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and bawl my eyes out. I've wanted a baby so bad for so long.

 I can only sit here at home, every single day and play games and watch movies to try and keep my mind off how empty I feel.
Which is something else, why do I feel so empty? It makes me angry even. I prayed for a good man who would love me, who I could love. I prayed for love and romance and a good husband as much as I pray for a baby now, and GOD sent that to me. I Love James more then anything, I never want to be with out him, yet I feel empty still, like something is missing.  I have a good life, We don't have much but it's a good life.

What will the future bring?
Will I ever get pregnant?
Will it be this way forever?

I pray to GOD we won't and that he opens a door somewhere. I am ready for our blessings to begin.