Keeping it together

 I'm getting very nervous now. It's getting closer. I should get AF between August 25th and August 29th.
It's close enough to make me start getting so scared. I keep running the scenarios in my head. What will I do if I'm not pregnant again this month. . . I know the answer, curl up in my husbands arms and cry my eyes out like I normally do. I'm so afraid of being disappointed again. I HAVE to get pregnant before October or I have some very painful social situations ahead of me.

 It's made worse by the fact that I have only had one "symptom" and that's I've had a twinge around my left ovary, and one time my right, but nothing else. No sore breasts, they don't look any different or feel any different, I'm not really fatigued or tired, no hunger or peeing a lot, no back pain, no heartburn or nausea. So. . . that's where I'm at right now. Scared to get my hopes up even though they are already SKY HIGH.

 I've imagine what the moment I finally get a BFP might be like.  It would be so amazing. I just feel so out this month, I feel like I'm not pregnant but AF will come right on time, even though I haven't really had symptoms of her approach either.

 I am just having a tough day, It's always hard for me right at the end of the 2WW when you'll find out if you'll be thrilled or devastated. Let's hope it's thrilled.